Don't you think this is a strange post? How to be happy? It sounds like I am trying to be a motivational speaker all of a sudden. Many people have their own ideas of what happiness is. Could it be hanging out with friends? The act of making love? Letting your hair loose to the beat of the funkiest tunes? Even the idea of being alone could equate to pure bliss for some individuals.
But I am not providing solutions to individuals on how to be happy. At least not in the short term run of things. I am giving long term solutions in helping your life become a little more joyful, to set a course sailing to 'better lands', so to speak. True happiness as stated above depends on the individual, but perhaps a little change of perspective might go a long way in our journey to find this elusive 'happiness'.
So what gives me the right to provide such advice in the first place? I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky guy. I hope. I'm pretty contented with my life, much of that is a result of how I see or view things. Is that enough?
1. Don't care what other people think
It is strange. Human beings who aim to be the same or similar are so completely different and unique. Yet, faced with an issue, the thoughts vary from person to person, in small ways or large. Therefore, in a course to be happy, which in itself a unique road for each individual, there will come a time of inevitable conflict. Therefore, this journey, specific to you and you only is a boast of the spiritual individuality we each possess.
For a most common of examples, a parent prohibiting a son or a daughter to take up a career that he/she loves, perhaps setting a path pre-built for the young child. What if this person does not wish to follow that path? Hence my advice on the first point.
Conflict leads to a state of being 'unhappy'. But we are looking for a being content in the longer term. For the short term will definitely pull up surprises of many sorts, the long term is far easier to shape and control.
Of course, im not asking everyone to exclude everyone else from their lives. Take in what others have to say. Turn it around, flip it, examine it carefully and consider it. If you like what you see, accept it and adopt it. If not, do not be afraid to turn it away, no matter who says it. Which leads me to my second point...
2. Avoid being close minded
To be close-minded is to shut your mind to the dizzying array of choices life presents to us. In a way, life itself is a series of choices, and being close-minded is the most effective ways to shut away most options. Even the options that may best suit you or one that you may enjoy the most.
How do we become close-minded? From birth, our minds open to the world as a clean sheet. No knowledge of anything, no prejudices, no morals. But as we grow up and learn these knowledge, prejudices and morals, our minds subsequently take it as truth. Ironclad, irreversible truth. And in so doing, we close up our minds to what we consider as inappropriate, or foolish or immoral.
For example, homosexuality. If one learnt that taking part in homosexuality or knowing a homosexual is unethical, be it from our parents, our friends or our teachers, especially at a young age, we close of our minds to the avenue. We will view gays with a different light. We will see them as people who lose themselves in immoral acts. We confuse what is right to what we think is right, the basis of self-righteousness.
Many of things we have come to accept as truth from birth has to be closely examined to understand if those ethics or prejudices is who we are. In so doing, perhaps we would make friends with homosexuals, instead of being affronted by them; or respect another person's religion; or maybe, god forbid, understand a little of the human race a little more. And as a result of this understanding, we appreciate human nature and yourself as a whole. And be much happier for it. All in all, it is about trying to...
3. Look at the bigger picture
Looking at what you are doing as a part of a whole, and not as a sum of itself. And in so doing, we realise that certain things we argue, gossip and gripe about is comparatively insignificant and petty. This is not an easy perspective to adopt, especially when troubles and problems seem to blow up in your face, making it especially difficult to look past.
So how do we do so? First, try not to see the problem at hand. Go and enjoy a small pleasure that distracts you or calms you down. A cup of coffee perhaps, or smelling of roses, even backpacking to somewhere exotic or familiar. And as you do so, take note of your surroundings and try to take pleasure in it. The feel of the breeze, the smell of coffee, the rush of adventure? Let your mind dwell in that pleasure and let your thoughts expand. And after you do so, take a peek at the problem. Just a peek. And try to see it in a different perspective. Does it seem smaller to you somewat? Does it have a silver lining within there? Maybe even a solution?
This perspective is not only useful in dealing with problems, but also helps a great deal in understanding your own psyche, and the ever-frightening philosophical questions of life.
4. Death is a natural aspect of life.
Many of us fear death. I did, once upon a time, and probably still do. To face one's mortality is like facing a great darkness, completely unknown.However, as frightening as the unknown might be, death is the one great truth of all. So we must accept it, in its whole.
So lets take a look at how we try to delay death. We concern ourselves with our health, we worry about how we appear. Do I seem older to you? Eating that will give you cancer. Lose weight, now! These efforts can sometimes go overboard to being overzealousness and unnecessary worry. Life becomes a list of prohibitions and caution.
That makes life a little more stale and boring. In the face of death, which we eventually face, would you prefer to be fat person who is a connoisseur of taste galore or a health nut who eats only one or two food groups? This, of course, links back to point number 2.
5. Enjoy what you do.
To do so, would pertain to 2 things. To make the choices in actions which you prefer, or to find enjoyment in a current job. To make the happier choice is left to the individual on which they prefer, such as the age old question: Would you prefer a miserable job with higher pay or a happy job for far less?
However, the choice to be happy is often unavailable, and we are forced to make do with more miserable choices. Which is where the latter comes in to play. How do you find enjoyment in your work that may be dull or stressful. This is where the first 4 points definitely come into play. Look at your well-being. You are most probably alive and well, and will continue to live so. Check. You have time to enjoy small pleasures. Check. You have friends and family that are care for you. Check. Now, ask yourself, is this job really that bad? If so, is there any way to make it better? For example, is there a way to make a dull job more interesting? Or a stressful job less stressful?
Often in life, when it is all said and done, we look back on past struggles and realise that somehow, we actually enjoyed ourselves. That we learned and we matured in the process of these struggles, which counts for something.
6. Expand yourself
Now, if life is all about choices, then how do you make life better? Quite simply, increase the number of choices. This is a proactive and invigorating approach to life.
Do not be afraid to learn something new. Acquire a new skill. Speak a new language. Talk to people, all sorts of people. Try and get to know them. Bend the rules, or even break them. Read and gain knowledge. Form opinions and debate. Then accept new opinions or hod fast to yours. Find out what is going around you. Solve problems or irrelevant puzzles. Travel. Experience.
Don't find excuses for not doing any of those things. Do not think you are always right, for right and wrong in life doesn't really matter. Be confident, but not arrogant. Be brash yet insightful; strong, yet accepting.Learn to do your best, prepare for the worst, and always be pleasantly surprised. Look out at the world, full with challenges, emotion and people and give it a big smile.